Still Water Runs Deep

Not About Me

2007-01-31T15:03:00.000+11:00

I am experiencing some pain in my right palm for more than 3 months. I am convinced that God is a creative person because, in the process of knowing that the right palm is growing weaker and weaker, my left palm is able to function or operate more freely or subconsciously stronger now. I was just thinking of my blind friend Steven, he was blind from birth but the amazing thing is that he is able to recognise people by just touching their palm, this is astonishing because he seems to remember the next time I approached him, not even saying a thing yet and he will call out my name once he recognise the texture of my palm with one Touch! Somehow, do we need to have some form of ‘handicap’ to recognise God’s touch? Why am I saying that! I still remember the first touch from the Lord when I came to the altar with brokenness is that still small voice whispering, ‘I’ll be the father the fatherless”. Am I more sensitive to His voice because I am desperate and needed Him more from now on that I am able to sense His presence or touch so readily. Why am I saying that, maybe I am also in the season of not knowing where I am heading or where God is taking me; for once in my life I lost the sense of knowing where I am heading next, a little comprehensive with the ending of the journey here by this coming August and not knowing where I am heading next (This will be a closed chapter for me). I do want to know what is the next plan or step I need to take from now yet I don’t have a clue at all! Maybe that is the reason why I have not been writing or updating the blog coz I simply don’t know what to share! However, I love the season now, do I really need to know everything. I love the little surprises he bring on to me that cheer me up from time to time. I love the fact that I need to rely on Him coz I am weak, I need Him more than before coz He is leading the way (not me), I need to stay faithful coz I can always trust His heart even I don’t see His hand (most of the time). I love the fact that I can enter into worship in the morning and meet with Him and linger in His presence that calm and give me peace. I love the fact that He is Good God and I can always trust and put my faith in Him. Yes, for once, I can say, I must have ‘Faith’ a substance hoped for on the things unseen yet.

A song from a talented song writer and great pianist

Not About Me
Verse 1:
Let my soul be still before You Lord
Let my heart know that You are God
In the midst of confusion
Lord I want to be
Lost in Your compassion
Let it flow right through me

Chorus:
It’s not about me
It’s not about me
It’s all about You
It’s all about You
Jesus

Verse 2:
Lord remove all unrighteousness inside
Take away my jealousy and pride
There’ll be many distractions
But I will set my sights
On the God of creation
May His Name be lifted high
Words and Music by Daryl Chan© 2006

2007

2007-01-23T13:09:00.000+11:00

FINALLY Home for Christmas

This is a new year. To be honest, I did not end 2006 with great expectation for 2007. I kind of feel so overwhelmed by God’s goodness as I returned home to hot and beautiful land,

Singapore

. I love the place more and more now esp. being away for 2.5yrs leaving behind my family and friends for a new chapter of my life here in Sydney. I never take them for granted and falling in love and treasure them even more now.

Home is always a special place for me coz I’m constantly investing love and wanting the best for one another. Many would say you can choose your friends but not your family members. Then think again, they must be very special coz they didn’t choose you either. Family is gift from God. I love the fact that I can be so free to do whatever I want, however I want and ask for whatever I want AT HOME because I know that they will do it for me (willingly I hope). I was so full of joy to see my lovely cousin, Melissa and my twin sister at the airport waiting for me. my flight landed late on Tue, that explained why it is only 2 faithful family members picking me up but I already had so many well wishes and calls from aunties, grannies and cousins via MSN welcoming me home the day before! What an awesome experience to be so soaped in love.

My grannies (3 healthy, beautiful and great chefs) are busy making sure that I have my favorite food being served @ meal. I am so spoiled by them. My aunties are awesome, they blessed me with their time and gifts…uncles hosting party and BBQ at their place (finding any reason to feast) and many cousins playing and telling me how much they’ve miss me! Ha ha, sound like I am so desperately in love with my family but the fact is I am. My twin is beautiful beyond description, I think the distant/separation had actually bonded us in His love. We are constantly praying, sharing of ministries and keeping each other accountable. I am so blessed to have such a god fearing and generous sister so willing to share and give. Knowing that this journey I took 2.5yrs ago was by faith and has not been an easy choice but her love and prayers had given me much joy and confidence. I am so thankful to the Lord for our faith. My brother with his new girlfriend…they are just lovely. He’s a great cook, tasted one of his casual meal but it was yum…So proud of him - More responsible and always diligent in his work. One of my regrets is that I am not able to be there for them and see each one of my cousin growth (only via phone and MNS) but I am grateful to our sweet Lord for watching over them and the great news is, 6 of my cousins and 2 aunties had given their lives to Jesus in 2006 (that’s the greatest gift for me – thank sis for her undying patient and good work in witnessing and bringing them to events and camps)! Well done, Dorcas!

To be continued…

Home Alone

2006-09-13T09:37:00.000+10:00

It is nice to be alone for the last 2 weeks. My housemates were away in Europe for their so called 2^nd honeymoon! Well, the pictures on the blog are splendid but only the moment there can capture all the true beauty of Lisbon.

Yesterday was a fruitful day: Ride my bike that almost killed my legs! I reckon I need more exercise coz legs are too weak on the wheels. Talked to a dear friend over Voipstunt, cooked lunch and went shopping with a dear mate! Laze the whole day and enjoy the moment.

Btw, house-sitting the dog is really a handful and keeps me busy everyday! Although he is toilet trained on the papers…But well, I still have to clean up those missed spots and mind you there are heaps…Well, the funny thing is that this dog really know how to enjoy life: eat his breakky, suntan under the sun and does his buisness (as often as he likes), then sleep and sleep...Wat a dog life!

I am so looking forwards to see my family this Sat morning! Can’t wait to see princess Eva…

A Closed chapter…into a new season

2006-08-31T19:52:00.000+10:00

It is an emotional day for me. I am about to send off a good friend I met in Bible college. She's heading back to

Japan

in a few hours …so hard to say ‘Goodbye’! It seems like yesterday while I awaited for a new housemate…Hello then sounded so strange…from an acquaintance to a dear friend for 2 years. We watched each other grow and journey this life together. We laughed, prayed, cried, cooked, shopped and not forgetting those girls giggle…tears just flow as I can see those images flash across my mind.

Harumi: “Hey, remember, you are the one who opened my bank account, can I have the honor for you to close it with me today!” Wow…it is really hard for me to do that! After our morning tea (I baked some pastry and hot English breakfast tea…with music playing…). It’s a joy to spend time with someone so special…oh...it is also her birthday too!

Well, we all need to face reality and realize that some people are in our life for a season. But their footprints will stay forever in our heart. I am thankful for this opportunity to meet so many great individual and do life with them the best I could here.

A closed chapter is not a bad thing – so that one can begin a a new chapter! So I wrote, “My pleasure to do this journey with you here, and to my honor to close this chapter with you here. That means a new season is waiting for you in Japan. There 're still many things to do, places to go, and people to love. Be blessed my princess…”

He is the Light

2006-08-25T10:28:00.000+10:00

There is no darkness in LIGHT.

In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. (John 1: 4-5)

I have been thinking a lot lately. After the journal on the topic ‘shame’, there is a clearer understanding that the reason for exposing our shame and darkness is to give us a new way of living. “He whom the son sets free is free indeed”. When I really mediate upon this verse, it is indeed a very powerful one with great meaning to life. We are called to walk in freedom and not in partial wholeness or with any form of crippling. The reason why we struggle is because we give the evil one permission to take control of our weaknesses! It is a choice. If we are willing to surrender, Jesus will keep us safe and the evil one cannot harm us. Amen

I John 5: 3- 5

“For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?”

SHAME

2006-08-21T11:37:00.000+10:00

1a. A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace. (b) Capacity for such a feeling
2. One that brings dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation.
3. A condition of disgrace or dishonor; ignominy.
4. A great disappointment.

If you can’t talk about it, it will own you.

Last weekend, I attended a Spirit Fire conference that literally changed my mindset in certain area in my life. I do applause the speaker for delivering his sermon in such a direct yet sincere that all can benefit.

Many of us are crippling in our walk because of our hidden shame (secret) in life! We are numbed by the deceptions the devil put in our thoughts and lives. We are ashamed to talk about our shame and therefore, we are not able to really walk free from this bondage that bound us. Total freedom comes only when we are willing to confront those areas that are well-locked in our lives! Well, one might defense by saying, “I did confess my sins or I’ve come clean with God about it!” But think again….did we?

It is an area that the Lord will not force us to surrender or if we choose to hide or conceal it! ‘He has given us this total freedom’! He will not (or rather cannot) force anyone to confess. It is a choice. Many would ask, why in the 1^st place did God choose to trust Adam and Eve, or assumed they will not eat from the tree? Well, the answer is, it is a free-will he bestowed to humankind. First of all, He did not create us to be his puppets or slaves (obey the master’s command), but He has made us His friend so that we can have fellowship with us.

'Anything that is hidden in darkness can only be exposed in the Light'. I can assure you that there is no greater freedom than to reach those keys that locked us in. Only we can have the key to unlock those areas we choose to LOCK (to shut or make secure with; escape is impossible; hold fast)! The question is ‘Do we lock ourselves to feel safe?’ Btw, we lock our possession in a safe place so that no one can steal it or we want to hide/conceal it from other. Then, why do we still choose to lock ourselves (shames, secrets) in for so long? But Jesus said, “I stand at the door and knock. IF anyone hear m y voice an opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” (Rev 3: 20) Indeed, he is a perfect gentleman. He is waiting for us to reach out to the door and open it for him to come in. 'It is an invitation not an invasion' (entrance of an armed force into a territory to conquer). Take note, this door has only one door handle, it is your choice whether to open it or not. If you do, he will come in and be with you. However, if you refuse, He is still waiting patiently for you at the door. He never runs out of patient…but we are running out of time. So, the invitation (personal) is sent, the banquet was ready, but it is up to individual to respond!

2006-08-17T21:53:00.001+10:00

A Sanitized Generation?

Are we sanitized by what we see, hear or witness everyday? Have our conscious gone cold and we are not able to feel anymore. There are so many horrific, bloody and immoral images that we watch on movies or media. Have you ever wonder if it has silent our God-given conscious in some way or another. What’s our emotion responding when we watch a gothic or horror graphics that do not make us feel uneasy or terrified anymore? So are we numbed to them coz we had too much these days or simply feel it’s not real anymore!

My lecturer shared about his son & friends were playing this computer game which needs them to kill in order to gain points. It includes killing a grandma, knock over a pregnancy woman crossing the street, drive a car thru a person on the road’…etc and the kids are thinking That’s FUN! The other thing he mentioned was, few years back after walking out of a cinema after the movie ‘Silent of the Lamb’; many youth were actually laughing at the ‘killing scenes’ as if it was a funny movie! Well, I must say, it is not funny at all but we really need to be careful what we feed our mind, soul and spirit daily. Don’t allow the right values and morals in life be overshadowed by what is perverted or things that are dark or evil!

I think we need to be careful what we watch and listen. We must not allow the junk or what is wrong to drown the conscious. Allow the Holy Spirit to whisper to our ears: take heed and listen to what He has to say – things that are good, right, pure, joyful, and loving. We need to start now if not it will be too late…and the consequence will be too BIG for us to bear! It’ll take a few generations to undo one generation mistakes! So be watchful for what our youth are watching and playing during their leisure. Otherwise, by the time we realized… It’s GAME OVER!

..::There’s always a natural order::..

2006-08-16T12:20:00.000+10:00

I was jus thinking about this incident which I thought might as well share it today. Well, I have an interesting case in counseling. It's about a girl coming to me with her girlfriend issue! She has openly expressed to me about her lesbian practice. She is a beautiful young woman with a combination of looks and talents. To cut the long story short, I have been telling her that if she would be a girl again, there’s a nice guy waiting to date her...

Our team prayed abt it 2 weeks ago for this situation at our workplace. Well, i know the Lord is bringing a change in her. Just this week, there’s a guy who gets really interested in her after a group outing and ‘going after her now’! The true is, no matter how she thinks she is a boy; there is a sense of satisfaction and feeling of being loved within: I read it from her text messages about how he has sent 40 texts in a day to her and had asked her out! He volunteers to pay for her grocery & buy her dinner! Wow…that’s fast I must say. Although, she might be denying it but deep down I know she feels flattered and valued as a girl!

Well, don’t you think it is natural and true that God has created us this way! No matter how hard we try to deny, “Girls like to be chase and Boys like to do the chasing”. Edwin, Cole L, says “A satisfied woman is a one who gets attention from the opposite sex”! It is a bold simple truth. How many times a girl feels unloved or not beautify simply coz she’s not being pursued (No boy likes me at all)! Why boys will always try to go after the most beautiful girl in school? Well, he simply likes going after the best prize to prove his manhood or he just likes the challenge (Once he succeed, He’s the man)!

So boys, don’t be shy to do what’s right! It is not the end of the world if she rejects you…it’s her lost! And…there’s another beautiful girl waiting for a prince to make her feel like a prize, a princess she always wannabe!

‘The promise will make way for the purpose…’

2006-08-14T23:24:00.000+10:00

Wow...what a powerful statement! I believe that everyone of us has a promise in our lives one way or another! When we believe it and hold on to it, it'll become a pushing force to drive us to ‘our purpose’! The scripture says, ‘the people without visions shall perish’! No wonder, so many people are crying out daily such as, ‘Why am I here?’ ‘What's the purpose in life? We cried because there is no sense of purpose in this journey called LIFE!

But be encouraged, if God has put in eternity in every heart, He knows and holds our future. We just need to be still to listen to His small voice.

Everyone has a purpose…we must keep our eyes on the ‘promise’ He has made with us - The Cross, the precious blood of the Lamb and the rainbow (after the Noah's flood); they are God’s covenant to us. He has promised never to leave or forsake us. So take heart, His promise will make way for the purposes in our lives.

Patient

2006-08-14T23:17:00.000+10:00

Well, still no sign of my bike after 2 weeks of vigorous shopping for one! To be honest, the main reason is that I couldn’t find a suitable 24” bike within my budget! Most of the bikes are 26” which are too huge for me! Talk abt eyes for good stuff, I am frustrated that any bike that I fancy were just too expensive (I can pay for my Dec’ car rego!)I need Endurance & Patience by my sides!

Talk abt patience, I was put to many trials this week that really stretch me! I reckon the Lord is really teaching me to ‘Wait and not rush’! Yeah, I think this is the ‘test’ for me now. A few occasions, I was acting very impulsively to just ‘buy’ the bike but what really stopped me was the circumstances - either the wrong color or out of stock! My good friend & I went around many different suburb malls to look for our bikes for our new hobby…the rate we are going, the interest will die and eventually give up the idea totally!! See this is exactly what the Lord is ‘telling me’! Do you really want it? Can you endure the race? How long is it going to last?

I really think I need to be patient & the only place to learn it is thru live ‘TESTS’!

“Although we must have ‘FAITH’ to move the mountains, but we must have “PATIENT” to see the mountains moved”

FULL ON

2006-08-02T19:01:00.000+10:00

Just a thought:

“The evil in our desire typically does not lie in what we want, but in we want it too much.” (John Calvin)

Work is overwhelming for me today, so many ‘fire fighting’ situation at boarding school (place where I work and practice counseling)! I have learned not to be quick to speak and show love and empathy for these new students coming here from Asia to study. It is funny that I forgot that they are just 15-17 yrs old teens who need love, listening hears and someone to laugh with them.

I have to remind myself, “Never allow familiarity to rob us from our call of duty”. We tend to overlook a lot of things coz we think that we have done it so many times anyhow!

In the situation, I remembered that I’m there to communicate love, care and counsel these students not to be angry when things don’t turn up my way or they are simply too noisy! “Boys will be boys and girls will be girls…” & “Teens will be teens…”

It is so wonderfully when one takes time to chat or talk to hear what the other person is saying. Many time, we are quick to say than to take time to listen (hear) attentively. Tonight, this temperamental boy accepts my suggestion of counseling with him. He is so willing to share and wanting me to help him with anger and violent behaviour episodes. Wow, it is so easy to extend my help & didn’t take much effort at all! What a fulfilling evening for me…time to sleep now!

Text message from a good friend this morning…

2006-07-28T10:40:00.000+10:00

3.07am: “I’m in a night club now, its soooo sleazy! Drunk girls and guys take advantage…so wrong…”

Wow, what a word to start my day!

What kept me thinking was, ‘Why was he in there in the 1^st place?’ I can’t help but to ask myself, why did the girls getting dead drunk knowing that the guys will take advantage of them! What a bad choice to be at the wrong place & time! They should be home SLEEPING…!! That’s a better and safer choice.

Next, I planned to head to a Uni with my friend to do my assignment but he reminded me, “It is dangerous to bring your laptop to the library. People might steal it when you go to the toilet! So you might have to bring your belongings everywhere you go…” What on earth is happening! People always planning on evil plots!! I can’t stop think about this…

How can we make this world a better place when all we could think about are soooooo

WRONG WRONG WRONG!

Any New Hobby?

2006-07-28T01:09:00.000+10:00

My housemate kept me busy today to think of a new HOBBY!!!

Seriously, other than Ice-skating (still with some pain after the that fall…sore butt!!), I've not been exercising for a ages....well, i do take slow walk around the park or lake if I really need to spent time with myself to get some fresh air.

I tried very hard to re-collect my thoughts the whole afternoon…about the things that I participate during my teens…Guess what!!! The answer is Cycling with youth group @ Pulao Ubing on few occassions. Now, I’ve decided to buy a mountain bike as my sport next week. Hope it'll become a white-elephant! Know what I mean…ha ha! I can also take this time to ride around the neighborhood and enjoy the beautiful sceneries and free Aussie clean fresh air...What a deal!

This week new task is to buy a bike and gears for my new hobby! More updates to come....

Who’s your master?

2006-07-28T00:58:00.000+10:00

Money or God?

Can we enjoy wealth but yet not becoming a slave to it? Well...I know it is a tough Choice!

If your security is based on FINACNE, the chance is that you will be a slave to it. Money will become your MASTER! This Master will make you work for it deliberately and take your life eventually.

If your security is based on FAITH, you will need to seek the MASTER who gives freely to those who seek earnestly. It will draw you nearer to the Master.

For faith is the substance of things hope for, evidence of things unseen…

God wants us to trust Him even in the area of finance. That’s why tithe or giving is always a big STRUGGLE for many people (especially when they become richer, that's mean they have to give more)!! However, the Bible is very clear about it, 10% belongs to Him and we can enjoy the 90% of our wealth. I believe it’ll always be an area of challenge (surrendering) if we choose to do otherwise!

Wilderness Experience

2006-07-22T20:37:00.000+10:00

I heard a great message on the “Wilderness Experience”. Many people do not like to go thru this season in life. However, it is in the wilderness, we grow in maturity and strengthen from within. Jesus came out from the wilderness experience in the power of the Spirit and made a worship decision in the wilderness: "Thou shall worship the Lord thy God only..."

Three things take place after you come out from the wilderness experience

(1) The devil left him (2) The angels minister to him (3) His Minstry and Miracles begin

The choice is yours...it can either defeat you or empower you!

God is more interested to build your character than your comfort in this wilderness experience.

‘OVER-HEATING THE ENGINE…’

2006-07-20T19:11:00.000+10:00

I have an old car that broke down recently – A new revelation for me. My kind mechanic says that I’ve over-heated the engine! Well…being so eager to head home, I ignored the warning sign on the dashboard and eventually killed the engine (before I could reach my place)! A very important lesson for me that day! He says, just stop the car, let the engine cool….pour in some water and drive again…this is safer and better! Wow…that is simple...I can do that!

It strikes me today when I was thinking about the incident! Many times, we choose to ignore the ‘warning sign’ in our life that is trying to tell us to slow down, maybe this tiny body needs some rest! Instead of paying attention to the sign, we pretend we can still push further and in no time! We’re burnt out and killed the ‘Body’ eventually. So don’t ignore the sign…slow down, take time off or simply RELAX! Cool down, pour some water in and then move again. This will surely enable us to move safely and smoothly in this journey in Life.

First Ice Skating Experience

2006-07-20T18:46:00.000+10:00

Ice Skating today...fell 5 times but it was all worth it! I really enjoy the cold atmosphere and the ability to walk on 'ice'! It is a fun day with 6 of my friends. My 1st attempt to ice skate!

Falling is not the issue, the real issue is 'We are afraid of failure'! Well, the key for today is: Allow yourself to 'FEEL' the pain and Get up and Get going again! Many times, we're so afraid of 'falling' but I've learnt, instead of falling backward, embrace it and move your body forward to adjust to the movement...this help oneself to balance instead of falling. So instead of falling head-ward....move your body....maybe you might landon the safer side!! Think about it.

Instead of fighting against the thought of 'falling', why not Master it and grow out of the pain! I will continue to skate till I can move freely on the ice...because I enjoy watching others who had mastered the shill and able to move gracefully on the ring now.
Mind you, all had their fair shares of falls too!

I'm not afraid of the pain anymore just like the old saying: 'No Pain, No Gain'! It is all worth it when the day I could move like a free bird on the skating ring with others...

Why Mimosa?

2006-07-18T23:02:00.000+10:00

Why Mimosa: Touch-me-not! I believe that we need to remain untouchable when it comes to some areas of our lives – Our principles, values and faith in God. We must say ‘Touch-me-not’ even when things are not heading the direction we want; things around us are not making much progress or even our love ones are still battling with the pain or sickness! Still...we need to say Touch-me-not, I’ll continue to trust and put my faith in Him!

We must protect ourselves from harm and run away from things that will destroy us. It could be a bad habit or addictions, wrong relationship or things that rob us away from Him...

The Beginning of my blog

2006-07-13T16:10:00.000+10:00

My best friend from Singapore set up this blog for me........