Not About Me

I am experiencing some pain in my right palm for more than 3 months. I am convinced that God is a creative person because, in the process of knowing that the right palm is growing weaker and weaker, my left palm is able to function or operate more freely or subconsciously stronger now. I was just thinking of my blind friend Steven, he was blind from birth but the amazing thing is that he is able to recognise people by just touching their palm, this is astonishing because he seems to remember the next time I approached him, not even saying a thing yet and he will call out my name once he recognise the texture of my palm with one Touch! Somehow, do we need to have some form of ‘handicap’ to recognise God’s touch? Why am I saying that! I still remember the first touch from the Lord when I came to the altar with brokenness is that still small voice whispering, ‘I’ll be the father the fatherless”. Am I more sensitive to His voice because I am desperate and needed Him more from now on that I am able to sense His presence or touch so readily. Why am I saying that, maybe I am also in the season of not knowing where I am heading or where God is taking me; for once in my life I lost the sense of knowing where I am heading next, a little comprehensive with the ending of the journey here by this coming August and not knowing where I am heading next (This will be a closed chapter for me). I do want to know what is the next plan or step I need to take from now yet I don’t have a clue at all! Maybe that is the reason why I have not been writing or updating the blog coz I simply don’t know what to share! However, I love the season now, do I really need to know everything. I love the little surprises he bring on to me that cheer me up from time to time. I love the fact that I need to rely on Him coz I am weak, I need Him more than before coz He is leading the way (not me), I need to stay faithful coz I can always trust His heart even I don’t see His hand (most of the time). I love the fact that I can enter into worship in the morning and meet with Him and linger in His presence that calm and give me peace. I love the fact that He is Good God and I can always trust and put my faith in Him. Yes, for once, I can say, I must have ‘Faith’ a substance hoped for on the things unseen yet.

A song from a talented song writer and great pianist

Not About Me
Verse 1:
Let my soul be still before You Lord
Let my heart know that You are God
In the midst of confusion
Lord I want to be
Lost in Your compassion
Let it flow right through me

Chorus:
It’s not about me
It’s not about me
It’s all about You
It’s all about You
Jesus

Verse 2:
Lord remove all unrighteousness inside
Take away my jealousy and pride
There’ll be many distractions
But I will set my sights
On the God of creation
May His Name be lifted high
Words and Music by Daryl Chan© 2006

2007

FINALLY Home for Christmas

This is a new year. To be honest, I did not end 2006 with great expectation for 2007. I kind of feel so overwhelmed by God’s goodness as I returned home to hot and beautiful land, Singapore. I love the place more and more now esp. being away for 2.5yrs leaving behind my family and friends for a new chapter of my life here in Sydney. I never take them for granted and falling in love and treasure them even more now.

Home is always a special place for me coz I’m constantly investing love and wanting the best for one another. Many would say you can choose your friends but not your family members. Then think again, they must be very special coz they didn’t choose you either. Family is gift from God. I love the fact that I can be so free to do whatever I want, however I want and ask for whatever I want AT HOME because I know that they will do it for me (willingly I hope). I was so full of joy to see my lovely cousin, Melissa and my twin sister at the airport waiting for me. my flight landed late on Tue, that explained why it is only 2 faithful family members picking me up but I already had so many well wishes and calls from aunties, grannies and cousins via MSN welcoming me home the day before! What an awesome experience to be so soaped in love.

My grannies (3 healthy, beautiful and great chefs) are busy making sure that I have my favorite food being served @ meal. I am so spoiled by them. My aunties are awesome, they blessed me with their time and gifts…uncles hosting party and BBQ at their place (finding any reason to feast) and many cousins playing and telling me how much they’ve miss me! Ha ha, sound like I am so desperately in love with my family but the fact is I am. My twin is beautiful beyond description, I think the distant/separation had actually bonded us in His love. We are constantly praying, sharing of ministries and keeping each other accountable. I am so blessed to have such a god fearing and generous sister so willing to share and give. Knowing that this journey I took 2.5yrs ago was by faith and has not been an easy choice but her love and prayers had given me much joy and confidence. I am so thankful to the Lord for our faith. My brother with his new girlfriend…they are just lovely. He’s a great cook, tasted one of his casual meal but it was yum…So proud of him - More responsible and always diligent in his work. One of my regrets is that I am not able to be there for them and see each one of my cousin growth (only via phone and MNS) but I am grateful to our sweet Lord for watching over them and the great news is, 6 of my cousins and 2 aunties had given their lives to Jesus in 2006 (that’s the greatest gift for me – thank sis for her undying patient and good work in witnessing and bringing them to events and camps)! Well done, Dorcas!

To be continued…